Confused.....

Never thought I would fall in love again...got so tired of feeling unappreciated...as if how I felt didn't matter...as if what I wanted was no longer of any importance...all I've ever wanted was a man who would love me, just as hard and as much as I loved him and be real and true about his love for me...maybe that's what's wrong with me, I love too hard, I try to please that one man, treat him like a king, but in the midst of it all, I'm being treated like the Court Jester....am I not worth being loved and respected? Do I look that bad to men that they feel like I'm not deserving of being loved? I mean truly, deeply, genuinely, and sincerely being loved? Never thought I was a "Dime Piece'', but didn't think I deserved to be hidden in the dark corners and recesses of anyone's mind. I always thought I was a good woman, one that any man would love to have by his side...but as time goes on, I'm starting to think that maybe all the thoughts I have of myself have been diluted...maybe after all these years, I don't know what I'm doing and that's the reason why I'm treated the way I am....as if I have the words "Welcome" across my forehead...I've been lied to, cheated on, hurt so badly to the point where I have curled up into a ball and cried for days...deep down inside, there's this beautiful, loving woman, who's longing to break free, to have that one man in her life who won't hurt her, will love her genuinely and unconditionally...I think she has broke free and found "The One"...but deep down, there's this feeling she can't shake...as if once again she's going to be the one heart broken, lied to and cheated on, because she feels like she's not pretty enough, sexy enough, shapely enough to be on, in or around his arms...BUT....sometimes I just think he's not ready for a woman like her, one that will love him, take care of him, be faithful to him even after she's proven to him that she's only for him, always be there when he calls, be that woman that he knows he wants and needs, but he just don't know how to treat and keep her...deep down I think he knows that this woman loves him....like he wants to be loved.....